Having such an extraordinary appreciation for exquisitely made designer items, I have a less glamorous job working for my uncle. The disgusting blue polyester uniform that irritated my skin the moment I put it on was definitely one of the negative features of my job. It was not something I ever wanted Sebastian to see me in. I would constantly remind myself again that it is only a temporary job to pay my minimum balances on my Visa. Working for family is not as easy as I expected it to be. It’s more than the itchy blue fabric. I thought I would sit at a desk, answer the phones and on occasion check my Facebook updates whenever my uncle left the office. I had no clue I was going to be working for a dictator. My uncle has me doing so much work, lifting boxes, filling folders and sweeping the floor. One of the rules that ensured his camp to run smoothly was no contact with the outside world aka no phones. Now I don’t know about you, but my blackberry had become another limb on my body. I believe that my uncle has no idea to how use new technologies and to ensure he does not look less superiors he bans anything that requires a plug.
Now I often hide my cell-phone under a stack of toilet paper in the bathroom. Whenever I take a quick stop I am able to check all my text messages, emails and place any necessary calls. However, this day was an exception to every other day. Sabatestian was receiving a new shipment of jumbo-size Chanel bags. The purchase of one more bag would definitely put a large dent on my already overused credit card, but I knew the fashion gods would approve and help my financial state. They are the only ones that truly know the importance of quilted lambskin. How could I pass up the opportunity to soft, hand-woven leather with exquisite details, and gold traps at a discount? Just the thought makes any fashionista drool with envy. I did a quick glace around the camp to ensure my uncle had left for his mid-day espresso break. My hand begin to tremble either from the excitement of a new purse or from the thought of being thrown into the dungeon. I quickly dialed Sebastian’s number,
“I was wondering when you were going to call me mamma. I can’t keep these stunning bags on the shelf.”
I knew this was Sebastian way of keeping his profit in mind. I’ve heard him use this line with clients contemplating bags that haven’t moved in months. Did I mention he was receiver of the entrepreneur of the 21st century award?
“Look I don’t have much time, what colours and sizes do you have?” I feel that I’m some drug addict talking to his dealer about the new fix he needs to have.
“Why do you even bother to work there? It’s so beneath you…”
I interrupt him abruptly, “The bags Sebastian, the bags!” I began to start sweating in my unbearable polyester uniform. He knew how much I despised this job, how it put a damper on my social life but he had no idea how much I needed the money.
“Alright calm that cute little bum of yours. I have reintroduced vintages; a cute clutch and three large jumbos.”
M heart stops beating. “What colours are the jumbos?”
“Cream, black and totally screams you purple.”
“I’ll take it.” I paused… a flash of my statement comes into my head. I need to phrase the second half of this question as the socialite like I am. “How much will you be putting on my credit card?”
“OOHHh mamma, for you only $1,300. It’s a great deal, it comes with everything.” I thought in my head it’s a purse what else would it come with; the buckles, a strap the beautiful quilted leather?
“Ok. charge my visa. You remember my number right?”
“How could I forget my sugar mamma’s digits. Did you forget you’re my best client.”
Another familiar voice came into my head. I began turning different shades of white, you may think it is impossible but when you go through shock you too will understand.
“I leave just for a moment only to catch you on the phone making a personal call. You know the rules!” his voice began to escalate. This is his was to make sure that the rest of his prisoners to hear him so that they fear him even more. “I don’t care if you're family, you follow the rules or else you leave.”
“WOW that dude has issues. I guess he didn’t get his dosage of crazy pills today. Hurry up and give him his refill before he goes postal on your ass.” I completely forgot I still have the phone in my hands.
“GET OFF THE PHONE!!”
“Sebastian I better get going. I will call you later for tonight’s plans.” I slam the phone down before he could hear any more of uncle’s rant. As he walked into his little office you still hear his curses from across the room. All the other prisoners looked at me in shame. They knew that I had opened Pandora's box and the remaining hours spent at the office were going to be torturous.
I have to stand up for myself, for us, for all the harsh treatments that he was putting us threw. As I marched to his little office I began chanting in my head ‘Bathroom breaks are not privileges they are necessities. Labour Rights!’ This is my chance to make the little guy be heard.
“Uncle, can I speak to you.” I tired making my voice as apologetic as possible. “I wanted to talk to you about what just happened.” I knew I didn’t have much time before he interrupted me as I spoke fast. “I never use the phone it was an emergency. I am a hard worker and obey by all your rules, but you really embarrassed in front of everyone.”
It was official, Pandora was released and was taking victims. “I don’t care! What’s embarrassing is that I hired you as a favor to your mother. You come in late, read those stupid fashion magazines all day and take whatever breaks you like. You think I care how I embarrassed you, how you feel?
I couldn’t believe my new discovery, another of the Paleozoic caveman walking among us. I should really contact the Anthropology Foundation of Canada and let them know that these creatures live. I knew he has crossed the line and he insulted not only my integrity but also the fashion gods.
I screamed it out before it could actually register in my head, “I quit!” I grabbed my phone under the toilet roll stack and walk out with my head high. But as I began to walk home I knew I was doomed. I’m broke. I have no source of income and just maxed out my credit cared with my new bag.
I am unemployed channel.
holy fuck. this is awesome.
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